Bless your heart your story reminds me of my own. I’m so sorry you lost your husband. It’s tough at best to go through that. But you are so right about the memories. That is what makes a house a home. We have lived in our home for 53 years. Our children grew up here and this is now “the gathering place”for them and the grandchildren and their little ones. This is what home is about!

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I was really concerned for you and I am so glad you understand that a home is what you make of a house. And I am glad that I misunderstood and apologise, Thank you also for your condolences, Cherish each other every moment. I wish you a long and happy life together wherever you may be.

Amy, I loved this blog post because I felt all the same things when we were looking for our first home. LA also made it a lot harder to find everything we were looking for. I understand what you mean about wanting so much and feeling like you’re compromising too much, but in the end it’s all ok!

This post was about house hunting and the first-time home buying experience, not about making a house a home which takes time and comes later. I only meant to give a real account of what house hunting is like for a lot of us that can’t afford the “dream homes” you see on TV or social media, especially in a city like LA, that can be so mysterious as to how people afford them, and how the entire house hunting experience can make you feel inadequate and that you need more money to fulfill this idea of a dream home (you don’t, that’s what I learned, I was making a joke about it with the million dollars thing). I was being honest about how I was swept up in finding perfection in terms of features in a house and then let that go, and now we have a house we love. The point I’m making is that you don’t need everything you thought you initially wanted to find a house you love. I put “perfect” in quotations to acknowledge it is subjective, that the definition of it is different for everyone and can always change. Perfect comes after we move in and make it our home- we are actually in agreement on there being no such thing as a “perfect” house upon initial viewing, because perfect is made later by the people who live in it. I think you are misunderstanding me, and I’m sorry I didn’t explain my perspective more clearly. I ended the post talking about my dreams of a big family because that is what I care about most, over the design or whatever else I’ve been dramatic about as being important when ultimately that stuff isn’t worth stressing about. 


I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. I can’t imagine the pain you are going through. Still it is heartwarming to hear you have a home to cherish that is filled with his presence and love. Wishing you the best.